Pilot Project

I tried to search the web to understand the meaning of Pilot Project. I could not a satisfactory answer. But somehow this term has found its entry into the dictionary of our office as something which is being tried by a person for the first time. To elaborate, it is something which you are trying your hands on for the first time and it is not your forte till now, but you would like it to be. For ex. A software engineer who has been into testing and wants to move into development would consider his / her first development project as a Pilot Project which would launch him / her into the world of Development.

Not sure who is responsible for generating the term, but it has consumed a major portion of our lunch time discussions and has been the centre of lots of our office humour.

Kehat vaibhav suno bhai entrepreneur
Pilot Project ki leela se bacho dear

It is very funny!

We had gone to see Bhool Bhulaiya yesterday. As we had some time left for the show, we started doing some shopping and bought a T-Shirt for me. We took it along with us to the cinema hall. We were greeted at the cinema hall entrance by an employee of the hall who refused to allow us entry as we were carrying a poly with the T-Shirt in it. He requested us to go to the Basement and come back as we still had time for the movie (He had not looked at our tickets till now and yet he knew we had time left for the movie to start. I must admit he was a smart guy - all pun intended). We were in no mood to go 4 floors down to the basement just to put a T-Shirt at a counter and come back. I took the T-Shirt out, put it on and we moved inside. All this happened in front of the guy and he managed a small smile on his face. Seems funny and it is - however the purpose is all lost and suddenly the decision to not allow people to carry polythenes inside theatre seems absurd. They should put up some machinery to check that out. It is not that tough, I believe ................

What certain time means to someone?

I happened to call an Indiabulls representative at 3:25 in the afternoon. Following is an excerpt from the conversation:

Me: Hi Dheeraj, I am Vaibhav calling from Mayur Vihar.
Dheeraj: Hello Sir. (Thinks about a few seconds and then remembers)
Me: I was thinking about opening an account.
Dheeraj: Sir, Can I callback you in 5 minutes. Markets are closing

3:30 in the afternoon is the time when markets in India stop trading, so 3:30 has a special significance in Dheerajs life.

Similarly, in the good old golden days when we used to go to the school, 1:30 in the afternoon was something we waited for. After all, it was the time school closed. This time changed to 2:15 in the winters when the school started late.

People who used to work in the mills waited eagerly for the BELLS to sound at 6 in the evening. You could see bicycles in plenty coming out of the big doors which never seemed to be big enough.

Times of day at a multiple of 3 used to be of significance to movie goers in the past. Shows used to start in theatres at 12, 3, 6 and 9 before multiplexes came in.

After I turned into a Software Engineer, these times have lost their significance. There are not BELLS ringing for me to go home, no time for market to close :)

The Ladoo Principle

Whew! What all does a manager have to talk about to convince his reporting band. Ladoo is a sweet in India. The Ladoo Principle states that if a child is making noise, then offer a Ladoo to him and he will be quiet for a while. Repeat this everytime the child makes noise. Almost similar corollary can be drawn to the world of Software Engineers.

One of the favorite Ladoos which a Manager offers to the employees in the Service Industry is a chance to go abroad on a long term project. In the first half of first decade this century, traveling abroad used to be very lucrative - good exposure, nice money, chance to visit new places etc. I am not sure how much this still holds good with all the Re Vs Dollar ho halla. It used to work earlier.

The above Ladoo does not really work in the Product Industry as chance to travel abroad is almost next to Null. Most of the things you will do outside the office can now be done in the office also. So whats the alternative. Work :) You are doing one of the most critical components of the project. WOW, did I love this one! People in the team would love to do the module you have your hands on, but I believe in you and thats why I offered it to you.

Another Ladoo is to praise the employee when he cries. You are the sole person on whom this whole project depends, a leave won't move without your consent, you are one of the best performing employees, we can give you anything you want except money as you should not be money driven :) Gotcha...... He is talking about a Free Lunch.

With all these Ladoos being exchanged in every place you go, it becomes very important for a Manager to make sure he / she earns the credibility before offering the sweets.


Kehat Vaibhav suno bhai Software Engineer
Kahin too many Ladoos se ho na jaaye Diabetes Dear

What can a game of helicopter teach you?

Helicopter is a game that involves flying a helicopter through various hurdles which keep changing their positions and shape. As you move the helicopter from the left of the screen (if you are facing the screen, then your left) to the right, the hurdles will keep coming towards the right and you need to survive them. Game ends if you touch the hurdle or any of the top or bottom of the tunnel you are flying through. So what does the game teach you:

1. Life is full of hurdles and the fun is to keep escaping them unhurt.
2. Concentrate - The more you do, the farther you reach.
3. Never say die - There would be some hurdles which would seem impossible to cross. If you concentrate, then there is a good probability that you will cross them. But it is important that you do not loose hope. Many times my game ended as soon as I crossed the hurdle which I never thought I would be able to.
4. Keep trying - Of course some hurdles in the game can NEVER be crossed because there is no space to fly. BUT then it is not your fault. Keep trying and next time you might just by lucky.
   
5. Expertise is not developed in a single day or a couple of tries - You need to learn the game and it will take time. Do not loose patience.
   

Whats my Managers Manager upto?

Are you interested in knowing what your Managers Manager is doing?

If the answer to this question is YES, then either

a) You have been having lots of free time lately. If yes, then instead pick up a good book and read it.

b) Or You are concerned with where your company is moving. If yes, then turn the concern into action. Type the resignation letter and post it.

c) Or You are killing your free time. If yes, then just FORGET IT. You are in a hole and till you realize you need to get out of it, no one can HELP.

Bheja Fry

Director: Sagar Ballary

Theatre: Waves, Noida

Date: 13th April, 2007

Mast, Must Watch :)

Namastey London

Director: Vipul Amrutlal Shah

Theatre: Waves, Noida

Date: 6th April, 2007

Some days are just very interesting!

30th March, 2007 happened to be my last day with Conexant. As it was the last day, I had lots to do in terms of doing the paper work and saying Hi and Bye to everyone I had known for the past 4 years and 9 months stay with Conexant. As if this was not enough for the day, some thing interesting happened. We have a common parking area for cars. I came in late in the morning and I had to park my car in a zone where it had to be kept on neutral because it was located in front of other cars. After our routine lunch walk, we were going back to work through the parking area when I could not locate my car in the area where I had parked in the morning. The interesting day started. I started looking for the car but could not locate. When I finally managed to find it, it was located at 90 degrees to the original parking location. This could not have been done without the keys of the car or unless Vir Hanuman himself had done it. As the probability of the second option is almost next to none, I took a look at my pocket. Indeed the keys were still there. When I came close to my car, the stereo inside the car was playing and the drivers window was half down. The probability of the first option was also zero as the keys were there. So there had to be a third possible option of which I was not aware of. I asked the security guard how the car came there.

Vaibhav: Car yahan kaise aayi? Iski chaabi to mere pass hai.
Guard: Sir, yeh aapke car hai.
Vaibhav: Koi shak!
Guard (to his friend): Tabhi chaabi bahar nahin nikal rahi
Vaibhav: Kaunsi chaabi. Iski chaabi to mere pass hai.
Guard (finally with the whole story): Sir, hamein laga yeh Ravi Sir ki gaadi hai. Maine unse chaabi lekar isko theek se park kar diya lekin ab chaabi nahin nikal rahi.
Vaibhav (inside my mind): Lag gayi watt.......

How can a car be opened with another cars keys? It can even be started with another cars keys and moved around. Well, DAMM the car companies.

We tried getting the keys out but Fevicol ka mazboot jod tha, aise hi thode na tootega. We then went to a local Automobile market. The local mechanic (who knows everything about anything related to Automobiles) tried to get the keys out. Lekin Fevicol holds ground. He decides that the car lock needs to be opened. Hmmmmm. Now it was getting more complex. We decided to take the car to showroom before everything got opened by the mechanic bhaiya.

In the showroom, the mechanic tried to remove the key from the lock. We asked him why he was not opening the lock instead. He said that the lock is made in such a way that either the key would come out or the whole lock needs to be replaced. HIP HIP HURRAY to the mechanic bhaiya. A new car lock comes for 3.5 to 4K. After some effort the keys came out. THANK GOD for it.

Help Required!

Last week, my Mamaji wanted to confirm his tickets back to Germany. The tickets have to be confirmed with the Airlines 72 hours before departure. He had booked his tickets with Turkish Airlines. To confirm the booking, we had to make a call to the Turkish Airlines. Now the question is - How do we get the number?

Thanks to 22222222 - the number of yellow pages. I called them up and asked for help to get the number of Turkish Airlines. The customer care executive took my mobile number and within 5 minutes I got the SMS with the number of Turkish Airlines office in Delhi.

Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.

Director: Reema Kagti

Theatre: Shakuntalam, Delhi

Date: 22nd March, 2007

Eklavya

Director: Vidhu Vinod Chopra

Theatre: PVR Rivoli, CP

Date: 24th February, 2007

Got Married

And here is the wedding card :)

IGI Airport to Punjab

Are you coming from outside India and want to go to a place in Punjab?

http://www.indocanadiantransport.com/online_booking.php

You can book a BUS ticket to a place in Punjab through the above link.

SALAAM-E-ISHQ

Director: Nikhil Advani

Theatre: Waves, Noida

Date: 28th January, 2007

Dialogues:

Hamara kal chahe jaisa bhi ho, hum milkar usey sundar banaye

Pyaar waqt se nahin, usse kiya jaata hai jiske saath hum waqt guzarte hain

GURU

Director: Mani Ratnam

Theatre: Satyam, Janakpuri

Date: 13th January, 2007

Kabul Express

Director: Kabir Khan

Theatre: Shakuntalam

Date: 6th January, 2007

Koshish Karne Walon Ki

Career Objectives

A few years back a cousin of mine was planning to give a MBA entrance exam. He was asked to pen down the reasons why he would like to join the institute. I tried to help him to pen down the things. Below is the stuff we wrote in the entrance form:

I want to be part of the elite group of the organization which helps in shaping employees lives. I believe that FMS would help me in developing all the necessary skills required to make a rationale decision about issues that wuold have an overall imapct on the lives of the employees. Someone had right said 'Life is too short to learn everything through experiece, so try and learn through the experience of others'. I hope that FMS, through its esteemed faculty, would be able to mould my experiences so that I can help people who come in my vicinity to make the right decisions. Ten years from now, I see myself heading a group of people whose future might be dependent on the decisions made by the top management. I hope that FMS would provide me with a framework that would help me in deciding what is the BEST for all and make that essential difference between the good, the better and THE BEST.

Painless Software Schedules

Some excerpts from the Article on Joel On Software

So, you have to make a schedule. This is something almost no programmer wants to do. In my experience, the vast majority just try to get away with not making a schedule at all. Of the few that make a schedule, most are only doing it because their boss made them do it, halfheartedly, and nobody actually believes the schedule except for upper management, which simultaneously believes that "no software project is ever on time" and in the existence of UFOs.

So why doesn't anybody make a schedule? Two key reasons. One, it's a real pain. Two, nobody believes that it's worth anything. Why go to all the trouble working on a schedule if it's not going to be right? There is a perception that schedules are consistently wrong, and only get worse as time goes on, so why suffer for naught?

Programmers are not interchangeable. It takes seven times longer for John to fix Rita's bug than for Rita to fix Rita's bug.

When you have to pick fine grained tasks, you are forcing yourself to actually figure out what steps you are going to have to take.

And when you haven't thought about what you're going to do, you just can't know how long it will take.

If you have to figure out what subroutines you're going to write, you are forced to pin down the feature. By being forced to plan ahead at this level, you eliminate a lot of the instability in a software project.

Most programmers have no idea how to guess how long things will take. That's okay. As long as you are continuously learning and continuously updating the schedule as you learn, the schedule will work.

Updating your schedule daily should only take about two minutes. That's why this is the Painless Schedule Method -- it's quick and easy.

A programmer should never, ever work on new code if they could instead be fixing bugs.

The schedule is not the place to play psychological games.

You might be able to get 20% more raw code out of people by begging everybody to work super hard, no matter how tired they get. Boom, debugging time doubles.

But you can never get 3n from n, ever, and if you think you can, please email me the stock ticker of your company so I can short it.

Not many of them are running business what-if scenarios... these are programmers, here